Eulogy for
David E. Banks
Yesterday, Shelly and David went to the movies, just another time together in a marriage where togetherness was cherished. Yes, David had experienced orthoscopic surgery on his knee earlier in the week, and yes it hurt, and yes he didn't want to stay home and be a patient and the doctor said it was all right to get out and then with an unaccountable swiftness David collapsed, took Shelly's hand and said "I love you" heard, her reassurance, squeezed her hand and peacefully he died. No struggle, no pain, no difficulty, but we are bereaved. Could it be that life could end so quickly? What shall we say? How shall we understand this? I do not know? For I, myself retired as Rabbi of Oheb Shalom, 25 days ago, content to hand over the reigns of leadership to my successor Rabbi Steven Fink. I could never have imagined myself standing here at David's funeral, at any funeral. For me David and Shelly were more than members of Oheb Shalom, they were friends. How often they expressed their trust, their confidence, their support, their love in so many sweet gestures. Never overlooking a significant moment in my life, always a presence of a card, a note, a call, a good wish and these three sons with whom I shared Bar Mitzvah and confirmations and other special moments, also provided me with a significant tie. Like you, I remain in a state of disbelief. David Banks, gone, incredible. Touched by the very sensitive soul of my successor and now good friend Rabbi Steven Fink, who understands that it is his duty to be the Rabbi for every Oheb Shalom congregant. To bear the mantel of spiritual counselor and comforter at a time like this and yet his generosity of spirit took over realizing the years of my closeness with the Banks' family and the shocking speed of these events and so he graciously made an exception to his new responsibility and invited me to come here this morning. Thank you, dear friend and now my Rabbi.
David was a pharmacist by profession. He filled prescriptions that penetrated every fiber of his life, one not found in any PDR. His complete and thorough sense of duty. He lived a life, he loved and he cherished totally and completely to his very last breath. Thorough in every task, meeting every challenge to the fullest. Observant of every responsibility, committed unswervingly through his love for Shelly, for his boys, for their women, for his grandson, Timmy. He was dedicated to his mother, Evelyn. He cared strongly for his extended family and for his sister, Susan and her family. His very life of firm conviction extensive kindness, abiding human respect comprised the best ingredients of a true gentleman, no wonder his Hebrew name was "David" beloved man. You, Shelly, you loved your David with abiding feeling, he was you're everything, the man you met on a blind date, with whom you disagreed on most things. Whose interests were diametrically opposite? You found a way to be well married, to be happy together, you respected everything he liked, he supported your loves. You permitted yourself to understand his deep passion for Barry Manilow and Frank Sinatra and politics. He supported your involvement in Jewish life, your purchase of every "chatska" and your total affection for cats. For Ralphie, your other child for 17 years and more recently just a week ago, for Alaska, the new cat on the block, who looked like a Siberian Husky and who was a symbol of your most recent visit to Alaska to celebrate your 33rd wedding anniversary. You broadened each other's horizons by respecting each other first and foremost as lovers. There is nothing you would not do for David and valiantly he did everything possible to satisfy your every whim. How devoted David was to you, his son's Marshal, Freddy, Dov, how he smiled and quelled with such joy at your Bar Mitzvah. Marshal, the first of the three, I remember it as though it was yesterday. At your conformation, how he took pride in your becoming a pharmacist, Freddy and following in his footsteps and I recall how excited he was when Dov became an Eagle Scout. How he was able to rejoice with your sweethearts, Marshal with your Robin, Freddy with your Margaret and Dov, you'll soon be married to your Melissa in September and of course the absolute joy of his life, these days, and Timmy on whose birthday he passed away. But, it was also Shabbat, and this man, this gentle human soul. Our tradition says when someone dies on Shabbat, it is as though G-D gave you a gentle kiss. A kiss to a man who never said no to his boys. A kiss for a man upon whom he was always present. He could call upon them any time and they would be there for they respected him on every count, they did everything together. A kiss for the son who was so good to his mother. A kiss for the brother who shared a life with his sister, Susan and with whom sometimes things were good and sometimes things were not so good, but always there was a link, and with her husband Gary and with your children: Randy, Jamie and his Rebekah, and T.J. and Stephanie. A kiss for the nephew of Uncle Stan and Aunt Nancy. He was like a second son to you, along with your children, his cousins, Mark and Robin. A kiss for the fellow who not only graduated from Pharmacy School but whose was president of his Fraternity AZO and president of the Alumni Association. A man who was so bright he graduated high school early and went on to excel in his studies. He was a mason of amicable lodge, and he loved movies and books and television, but if you really wanted to know what he was doing, a kiss for the abiding bowler. He loved to win. He loved to keep score and do well and so he was just a little bit ticked when Shelly began to share his average and beat it. His favorite expression was "let's agree to disagree" and yet this man was so positive about life. He was extraordinarily moralistic, and he dutifully obeyed the law. If we will forgive him for driving just a little bit too quickly recently and getting his first speeding ticket of his life. He was deeply affected by everything he could do with his boys, his love of going to the Orioles games together, his teaching his boys to respect authority. To realize what it was like to receive endless numbers of people at a Seder at his home. And whenever you asked him, How are you? , he would answer "unbelievable, couldn't be better." One son says he is the best father anyone could love, anything that you want I'll get it for you. And they never took advantage of his kindness. I liked him because like me was mechanically challenged. And, so we come to see this man in a very special way, we come to see a man was thorough in everything that he did. And he loved his work so deeply that even if at five minutes to 10 at night as the store was closing and his day was done, if someone brought to him a prescription, he would stay with it until it was done. And that is what he gave and bequeathed to you his sons. A sense of pride in one's dignity and work. David was a quiet man, but a very emotional man. He had long standing friends and he was a man who could share their lives with deep feeling and so this kind, generous, caring, good man has gone and he is no more from as a presence, but he will always be with us an influence. He touched my life, he touched your life and now we pray G-D has touched his life and that forever more he will be to all of us, a blessing and together let us say "Amen,"
Shelly says,
I don't need a microphone, no one ever accused me of having a low voice in fact just the opposite. I think that as all of you know, David and I were together I did most of the talking and I think he would expect me to say something. And, David was very important to me and all of being here shows that he touched all of yours lives in a very positive way. Sometimes maybe people from Giant would say that he was picky-uny, but you respected him. He cared very much about the people from Giant. He loved his children. His mother was very precious to him. He loved Marshal, Freddy, Dovey, their spouses, Melissa, Robin and Margaret and Timmy was the perfect grandson. He would tell anybody who asked him, and I just wanted to let everybody know that I loved him very much and I'll be with him, and he'll be with me all the time and I love him.
Back to The Ashkenazy Family Circle Page